It has taken me four years after graduating from residency training to realize and change my unfortunate relationship with food.
Residency training for Obgyns is four years, I did this from 2016 to 2020. I then started my big girl doctor job in August of 2020. As I near the age of 40, what used to work for me no longer does. I frequently hear from patients “but I haven’t changed anything”, which is precisely the explanation for their symptoms. We have to change. Our bodies and lives are changing and we have to make choices not only to keep up, but to function optimally.
Starting in medical school, there are some old adages that are taught to us as a new way of life. One of these is “eat when you can, sleep when you can”. This means there is no food or sleep schedule and we’ll be deprived of both, so we better get it while we can.
Here’s what I did then:
⏰ On a 24 hour shift, I’d eat throughout the night (takeout of our choice) to stay awake. It gave me something to do if I had down time.
Have you ever seen a kid who won’t stop moving because they’re tired? If they stay still, they’ll zonk out. That’s why I ate.. to keep moving, to stay awake
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🚘 Eating in my car. My morning oatmeal was while driving on my 30 minute commute. This was a total lack of mindful eating.
💰 Free was more important than a good choice. I’d eat foods I wouldn’t normally choose if it was free. Residents love free food and this typically was pizza and donuts, to be honest. Why is it always pizza and donuts?
☕️ I’d eat or drink things socially because of the camaraderie and comfort - sugary coffees, pastries- because we’re in the hospital all the time and took team trips for coffee.
🏥 Availability. The hospital gives us stipend money for hospital food on a monthly basis, that means we go to the cafeteria or coffee shop and swipe our badge. There may be healthy choices, there are also a lot of unhealthy choices readily available.
It gets harder to make good choices when we’re sleep deprived. I still notice this today when I’ve had a rough call. I tend to eat more and eat things I don’t eat when I feel better. A rough call makes me feel hungover: tired, headache, nauseous. Then I’m reaching for something to help (food) when what I really need is sleep.
🧠 It’s not easy to undo the “eat when you can, sleep when you can” mentality. Now more than four years after residency, I’ve finally broken the mentality but it can creep back in especially during sleep deprivation. I had to choose to break this cycle, these habits, and realize my relationship with food. Now I eat because of hunger and for nourishment, not just calories but nutrients for my body. It’s a real change of mental framework that I think we all have to choose, though it’s not easy.
