Like Scheffler With Golf - The White Coat Doesn't Fill My Soul

I was raised in a house with the biggest sports fan of all time, my dad.

I no longer hold sports or athletes as false idols, though I admit I once did and I believe many people still do, but I follow sports and enjoy the entertainment.

I also find lessons from sports and athletes for my own life, career and family.

Every now and then, a special athlete will come along.

Last week prior to winning The Open, Scottie Scheffler (the world’s number one golfer) sat in a press conference and was refreshingly honest about his priorities and his relationship with golf.

I’m not supposed to say this as a doctor, a far different vocation from his, but I wholeheartedly agree with him. I'm not supposed to say it as a doctor because our vocation at its core is for helping others. We view doctors as altruistic, we can't view them as professionally disappointed.

“This is not a fulfilling life," he said.  “It's fulfilling from the sense of accomplishment, but it’s not fulfilling from a sense of the deepest places of your heart.”

Fulfillment in Healthcare

Many doctors will disagree with me and at least claim t

hey are completely fulfilled by the work.  Many will believe their own claim.

I know I’m not the only doctor who could honestly admit the shortcomings of this work when it comes to true fulfillment.  I had a family medicine colleague who moved across the country for a professional change. He told me, “I wasn’t unhappy.  I was unfulfilled.”

Just like Scottie, I’m not discrediting the work that is done.  Do not confuse this for saying this work is meaningless or effortless.

Everyone who participates in healthcare is fulfilling an important role.  When I had my appendectomy, I counted nearly thirty people from doctors to housekeeping and everyone in between, involved in my care in just two days.  While we fulfill the roles, they may not fulfill us.

I’ve had many accomplishments in this career and I’ve worked extremely hard to become board-certified and menopause society certified.  I continue to study to maintain board certification and stay up to date on literature and data that can change my clinical practice, and change results for women I see.  There is undeniable good in taking care of people in a meaningful way.   

That’s the Disney version.  Anyone who works in healthcare or with the general public should be able to freely admit that not all of the work is fruitful or even pleasant.  Given the burnout of healthcare professionals, I would argue that a great deal of the work feels trivial, frustrating and outweighs the meaningful help.

Perspective

For a very long time, including when I met my husband, I outright did not want children.  I didn’t think I did.  I didn’t realize I did.  The truth is I didn’t want children then.

I truly thought my career would fulfill me.

When I landed what I thought was my dream job after residency, I immediately thought, this is it?  I do this for thirty years?  It was immediate.

Having children was the perspective I needed.

I’m not “world number one” anything like Scottie is, but I’m the only one who is the mother to my children.  I’m easily dispensable at work.  I’m indispensable at home.

Even still, I can't expect my husband or children to be completely fulfilling.  The seasons with them will change.  What is steadfast is God and religion.

True Fulfillment

I recently connected with Sister Jane Dominic of Aquinas College in Nashville.  She has written about the need for spiritual care of female physicians owing to our poor physical and social outcomes compared to male counterparts (commentary from me on this topic coming soon).

In her message to me, she said, “The world tells us to put everything else first and God last. 

Sadly, so many of us fall for that bait until we realize how deeply unhappy

and unfulfilled we are!  Only the Lord can fill us.”

I had put my career first and it often still comes before my family when I get called.  Religion was part of my background, not my life.

In the past year, I’ve actively worked to decrease my chronic stress and my body’s response to it.  I was doing really well but my efforts remained incomplete.  It wasn’t until I brought religion actively, rather than passively, into my life that I was able to feel peace.  This doesn’t mean I have it all figured out, no one does.  Settling into my faith and studying my religion means that I don’t have to know my destination here on earth, but if I do it right, I’ll know my destination once I leave.

Faith followed by family are the ways to fulfillment in the deepest places in my heart.

Resources:

https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/45745697/scottie-scheffler-take-success-golf-point